Christmas has always been a favorite of my family. Spending time together and waking up before the sun comes up has been a staple. Santa Claus or “ Ho Ho” has been a good friend to our girls. Stacks of presents and smiles have been amazing.
I’m not going to lie I have been a little anxious waiting for this day to come. The grief is still real. Big days or new adventures seem to be the hardest. Levins loved Christmas. She likes the wrapping paper and all the squeezes she would get. I remember last year we wrapped tissues boxes and you would have thought she won the lottery. The little things were very important to Levins.
I am not going to write a post about grief and feeling sorry for us. That’s never been my intention. Levins had it figured out. She really didn’t care about all the presents. She cared about the excitement and love in the room.
Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ. Think about that. I can’t imagine what God was thinking when he sent his only son to the world knowing he was going to die for our sins one day. As a Daddy who was lost a child I can’t imagine the pain he went through. Because of his love and the decision he made I know where my Levins is. I have no doubt she is sitting with Jesus watching over us. Through all the happy chaos of today, do not forget why we celebrate.
Rett is getting older and smarter. She amazes me everyday. Her letter to Santa last night was pretty special. This gist of the letter was asking Santa if he had ever been to heaven before. She then asked if he would stop by Heaven and give Levins a hug. She misses her little sister and it breaks my heart.
We are surrounded by family this Christmas. We would not want it any other way. We will see friends that are family and talk to several today. This is right where Levins would want to be.
I ask God a lot for a sign. Sometimes I just need something to make me smile. Last night while we were at Christmas Eve service we had a candle light singing of “Silent Night”. My candle blew out 3 times throughout the service. I knew Levins was laughing.
I would like to encourage everyone to hug the ones they love. Tell them you love them. Remember the true meaning on Christmas. Say a prayer and thank God for what he has done for us all. I know I am thankful for all of you.
Merry Christmas Lev. Daddy loves you.
