That is the prayer Cullie says to our girls every night. I'll admit sometimes I listen on the monitor when she is putting them to bed. It has always been special, especially since I have always had a stomach turning feeling with Levins. I never told Cullie this, but I used to be unsure of whether we would make it to this day. My faith was in God to do His will, but I was scared. I was selfish and did not want him to take Levins, but knew he would have to be at the center of allowing her to get through all of the battles she had before her. I thank God everyday for allowing us to make it to this day with Levins. She is the strongest person I have ever met. I never could have imagined living without her now. She is truly my "Superhero".
I know it has been a while since I have updated everyone. We have finally gotten into our normal routine. Most people would think our life is far from normal, but we would not have it any other way. Levins is off oxygen and her lungs are doing great. We are working on swallowing and hopefully we will start working on baby food soon. She has come a long way. She can now sit up on her own and is making great strides in her physical therapy. We have been blessed with great therapists. Levins is truly an inspiration to all of us. I wish everyone could see her smile in person. It is something that I can not describe and honestly pictures do not even do it justice.
I have learned a lot about myself this past year. I have been at the bottom and know what it is like to be completely helpless watching your child struggle. I wake up some nights after having nightmares of being in the hospital and calling our parents to let them know Levins was not doing well. I honestly thought that day was going to be our last with Levins here with us. I would never wish that pain on anyone.
I've started to notice people staring at us.. I used to be that guy too. Now I know how it feels when you are in the line at Chick-fil-a and look around and see people staring at your daughter. I know she may look different and she has a feeding tube, but it still gets to me. I want to go all 20 year old Kyle and knock them one good time, but I realize not everyone understands. It will always be a struggle for me. Not because I care if anyone stares and me, I just do not want them starring at my daughter. It is something I will never get used to, but I will have to let it pass. I want to challenge you to not stare, but tell whatever child you are staring at how beautiful they are. Every child is made in the image of God which means they are all beautiful. Not going to lie I am a little partial to my girls and think they are both gorgeous.
The bond between sisters is very strong. Listening to Rett talk to Levins in the morning is very special. She loves her sister with all her heart and will do anything for her. She does not see DS or esophageal atresia she sees her sister. That in itself has taught me everything.
I am so lucky to have Cullie. Every marriage has its ups and downs. Everyone knows that is something that you have to work at daily, but I know I could not do life without her. She is strong and has put her life on hold basically to take care of our girls. How she keeps up with everything is beyond me. I was not sure I could love her anymore, but everyday she proves me wrong.
We have been so blessed to have access to Levine Children's hospital and their teams. I wish I could thank every doctor, nurse, nurse practioner, respiratory person, etc, but the list would be way too long. Do know that I owe you everything. You have given my child the opportunity to live and I will be forever grateful to you.
Thank you to our parents. Cullie and I have been blessed to have strong parents. Each of them has helped us out in so many ways. There have been days when they have stepped up more than they needed to. There have been days when they have taken out place when we needed to step away. Thank you. Thank you for showing me how to parent. Thank you for always having our back.
Thank you to our siblings. Each one of you have been there. Whether it is sitting in the NICU to give us a break, or sitting with me at a bar to relax, everyone has been strong and always been there.
Thank you to our friends. Your prayers have kept us going. Your time of sitting in the driveway with me till 2am to vent has helped me tremendously. Sometimes you need to have a worry free couple hours and you all have made it happen.
I wish I could thank everyone but again we will be here all day.
We are truly going to celebrate Levins on her birthday. We have a lot to be thankful for. She has made us all better people. I encourage everyone to celebrate on 9/9/16. Levins has made this world a better place. She has changed a very stubborn Daddy. I know she will change a lot more as she gets older. Say a prayer for the families in the NICU that do not get to celebrate their child turning a year old. Each one of you will always be in my prayers and I know your children are watching over us all. Thank you for reading our story. You have turned a Daddy who does not voice his thoughts into someone who can share Levins story. Happy Birthday Levins. Daddy loves you!
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