Finally

Today was the day that I had been cold free for long enough to go see Levins. I have been waiting on this day for a little over two weeks.

It worked out that Cullie, Rett and I got to go to Chick-Fil-A for lunch, which was awesome because it is important to spend a lot of time with Rett. She has amazed me the past couple weeks. We have spent a lot of time together since I couldn't go see Levins. It has helped our relationship and made me step up to the plate more as a Father with her. I'll admit I was always nervous when it was just she and I. Was I changing her diaper enough or is she hungry? What do I do if she cries all day? What about if she gets sick? Well, she did get sick. She is on the up hill swing of hand, foot and mouth, and she took it like a champ. Our relationship has grown so much! I have always been very proud of Rett, but we were not as close as we are now. She doesn't have a panic attack just being with me either. I even braved Cabelas with her twice! That's a big step for me. Out in the elements on my own and she was an angel every time. The hugs and kisses I get when it's just the two of us are amazing. It's funny how this journey has grown our relationship some much.

Annie picked Rett up after lunch and we were on the way. I'll admit I was so excited but super nervous. I kept thinking, "Will she remember me?" She has only been here for three weeks, and I have missed two weeks of it. I was nervous that the doctors and nurses would think I was a bad parent. It was a long ride. The walk up was long too. I had to get a new badge and finally we were on our way up.

I knew the whole time that I had not been able to see her that she was taken care of. As we walked in I watched Cullie. Every time she walks through those doors I can see her excitement. She amazes me daily! She walked right up and started talking away to Levins. Kisses everywhere! Kisses only Mama's can do. Levins was asleep, but I know she knew her Mama was there. I could see it in her body language. She moved her arms around and started to relax. Waiting two weeks to see that moment was worth it. The love between a Mother and child and the bond they have is unreal.

I'll admit, I could not wait to get my hands on Levins. I got to hold her for a long time. She sounded a little congested, which I am sure is normal with all the TPN (IV nutrients) and breast milk she is getting. She grew so much. I didn't give her a lot of kisses because I am still nervous about being sick a week ago. She is gorgeous and was so peaceful. She did get mad every once in a while because she needed more suction. Besides that, she was perfect. I rocked with her for an hour or so. I didn't want to put her down, but I'll admit I was scared to move her and my arm was asleep.

We still have a long road. Several more trips and exciting moments. Rett made a comment the other day to Cullie that I wanted to share, "Mama we are not all together because Baby Levins isn't here with us." That breaks my heart for all of my girls. It also answers a lot of questions I had before. Rett does not see Down syndrome. Rett sees Levins. She sees her baby sister. She knows Levins is not here with her and she wants her here. Down syndrome will not make their relationship. Their love for one another will. There is my favorite word again. We don't see Down syndrome. We see our daughter. We see one of the loves of our life. We see a child. We see LOVE which is Levins!