Perspective

Throughout this entire process it has definitely been an up and down emotional journey. It is very hard not to be emotionally invested in every little thing that goes on. I don't sleep as well as I used to, and I know it's because my mind is thinking about our girls. Levins is under constant care. That's what she needs at this time in her life. We are not able to be with her every minute like we want to. Trusting in God and knowing he is with her all the time makes it easier to fall back asleep.

I am trying to stay positive all the time. I went to see Levins for a short trip yesterday, and it was what I needed. I needed it because she looked great and she was moving all over the place. I prayed  on the way for God to give me a sign. Not necessarily a light streaming down by any means, just a sign through Levins. She has always held my fingers in her hands, but this time it was different. It felt like she was telling me she was good. She squeezed and squeezed for a long time.

We had a couple bad days the previous week. This process is going to be hard everyday. We will be challenged daily. I look back on the past year and can honestly say I would not change a thing. It has been very stressful, but it has been worth it. Walking in her hospital room and seeing her laying fast asleep is a feeling I can't describe. Our bad days, hours, and minutes are behind us now. Those days ended when we found out we were pregnant with Levins.

I don't ever ask God why for us. I know the master plan is unfolding before our eyes. I know she will be home with us soon. It is definitely not the way any parent envisions bringing their child home, but I can tell you we will bring her home however we can. God works in crazy ways sometimes. Through this entire process he has taught me to be a better husband, father, and friend. I don't get stressed about the little things in life. I couldn't tell you who won all the baseball games last night. The fast lane on the interstate isn't what it used to be. The fast lane of life doesn't really interest me. I want to be with my girls the majority of my time. Priorities have changed. They have changed for the better.

The main reason for this blog is to save babies with DS. I hope that one day someone will read this before they make the wrong decision and not give their child a chance. I still lose sleep at night because of that. Levins is prefect in every way. She is perfect in God's eyes. She is going to grow up and will always be a beautiful person. She has taught me that the fast lane on the interstate is not always the best way. Sometimes it's better to ride behind the slower cars and enjoy life. I needed Levins to come into my life.

I wrote this story to show the ups and downs of DS. I hope to give a perspective of all the great things in her life. Soon I will try to sit down and tell everyone my true feelings on abortion. I am not ready now. It may be a while. I look at Levins and cry sometimes. I know everyone knows by now. I am sorry, but it's true. I cry because I am glad God gave me the opportunity to be her father. To be the one who will always provide for her. I cry also for the other angels that are watching over Levins. The ones that were not given the same opportunities as her. She is going to show the world how beautiful one extra chromosome can be. I apologize for the rant, but it is something that needs to be discussed in the society we live in today. Love has many chromosomes.