It has been a while since I sat down to write about being home. It is not that we do not have a lot to talk about and it's not that I really do not know how to describe it. We are just settling into our new routine. On our ride home with Levins I caught myself asking Cullie what the schedule would be for Sunday. It has become such a huge part of our life being in the NICU that it did not feel right not going back.
I held it together a lot better than I thought I would on the way home. Seeing Cullie in the rear view mirror finally smiling is something I will not ever be able to describe. She has been through so much over this journey and it was so great to see her smile. I could finally see her breathe.
There were signs in our neighborhood welcoming Levins home. I got emotional then. I kind of lost it. She was finally in the neighborhood she was supposed to be. Around families that will watch her grow. Families that will pick her up when she falls off her bike. Other children that will watch over her at school. God let me know in the ride through the neighborhood that everything was going to be ok. As we pulled down our street our families, friends, and church family were all out in front of our house. It was a special moment. I still get a little teary eyed thinking about it. I got out of the car and called Rett over to see us. She did not know Levins was coming home. We did not want something to happen and the date change. The moment that she saw her in the car was something I will remember forever. Our girls were finally together. There were a lot of hugs and tears that day. Several people that had spent countless hours praying for our family were there. I will never be able to thank each and everyone of you enough but know that it was greatly appreciated.
We have oxygen, monitors, and a feeding tube at home. Oxygen and the feeding tube are no problem. Monitors on the other hand are intense. Levins is a very active child. She thinks its fun to kick off her monitor on her foot and also roll just enough to pull her leads off. Sleep was minimal the first couple nights. Everything is new with the monitors. They will drive you insane. The alarm is just as loud if she kicks it off her foot or if she is having issues. I understand why we need them but they are intense.
We have had a few scary moments. I was getting in the shower when Cullie comes in and said her tube had come out. It was a wild couple hours. We were planning on grilling salmon, but we ended up spending our Friday night in the ER. Levins' surgeon was on call and he met us there. He had that tube in faster than I could park our car. I know he cares about Levins which means the world to us.
We are also those parents who are going to let Levins live and experience the world. We have made it out to eat and shopped a little. We are the parents now that get the looks from across the restaurant. Yep, that is us. I will be honest and say we are not trying to ruin your lunch, but your looks are not going to ruin ours either. Think about her next time you are out and hear a loud beep. We are probably eating there too!
Watching Levins and Rett together has probably been my favorite moments. Levins follows Rett with her eyes. She will turn her head to her voice all the time. It is unbelievable to watch. Rett loves Levins. She is always there to help. She can silence the alarm while we fix the leads and always makes sure she has her pacifier. Watching them grow is going to be pretty special. Their bond will be very strong. They are showing it to us already!
NICU family, we miss you! Keep saving those sweet babies. Please let Panera know everything is ok. I know they are panicked they haven't seen Cullie everyday. We will be up there soon. Thank you again for allowing our Levins to come HOME!
Please continue your prayers for our Levins. She still has a long road ahead but she is getting stronger everyday. Pray for Rett that she will continue to be Mama's helper. Pray for Cullie. This is a lot of work, and I know she would not change it. Pray that God will give her the strength she needs everyday. Pray for me. Pray that I will have patience to be where I need to be.
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