Christmas

The faster Christmas has approached the more perspective I have on Christmas. I don't think I really understood the love you can have for a child until Rett was born. It has grown even more since Levins has come into our world. To be honest I don't think I really learned how much I love my children until I put all my trust in God. I know some are reading this and not really sure what I mean but it's true. I have always been a believer in Christ, but being the typical man I thought I was still somewhat in control of my life. This has been a wonderful, crazy, stressful and humbling experience. One that I have said numerous times I would not change. If this scenario is the only way I can have Levins in my life, then this is how it is going to be. I am in awe of the strength God has given my family. God has shown me the direction he wants my life to go.

We are close to all being home together. Christmas will have a different feel, but it will be the best one yet. Of course it is not ideal not being together but we are all here. Being able to watch Levins breathe comfortably and swallow is all I wanted Christmas. The little things that I used to take for granted are so big for her. She is our Christmas miracle!

Most of you know by now I am an emotional guy. I always have been. It's who I am. I have cried many tears of pain these past few months. Those tears are changing. They are tears of joy and thankfulness. I just cried watching her attack her pacifier. The little things in life are now the most important.

We are going to have a great Christmas with the people we love. There will be a lot of laughs and I am sure some tears. I will drink a few glasses of bourbon and thank God for all the blessings in my life. Do not feel sad for us on Christmas because we are not all together. Instead, get excited that we have the chance to be together soon.

Please continue to pray for our girls. Pray that they will have strength to continue fighting daily. Rett wants Levins home. Levins wants to see Rett. Pray for Cullie. Pray that she has the best Christmas ever. Pray for me that I will have the strength to continue to attempt to lead my family in the right direction. Pray for our families that they will continue to give us the strength to continue our fight. Pray for the other children and their families in the NICU.  Merry Christmas and I hope that we all take time to look at the true meaning of Christmas.