When we first found out we were pregnant we had "everything" planned. We decided we wanted to deliver at a hospital closer to home rather than in downtown Charlotte. We had a decent experience with our OB office and thought that would be the best fit.
After discussing it with our specialist and family, we have decided the main hospital downtown is going to be our best fit. It is going to be mass chaos getting everything changed over but it will be better for Levins and Cullie. They have a state of the art NICU at CMC main and we just feel it will be best.
This past week has been crazy and flown by. We had two doctors appointments this week. During those visits we had another Level II ultrasound and follow up echocardiogram. We found out that Levins does have some sort of swallowing issue because her stomach is still very small and Cullie's amniotic fluid levels are elevated. This does not affect the growth and development of the baby, but can cause Cullie to be uncomfortable, and can also cause pre-term labor. For now, we just have to keep monitoring it. The hard part about the stomach/swallowing issue is that nothing can be done until she is born. That has been the hardest thing for me so far. I am not a patient person when it comes to fixing problems. You can ask Cullie that anytime and I guarantee she will agree. I generally try to figure out the solution to whatever problem she has before she finishes telling me the story. I know sometimes I need to just listen. First step is admitting. God is definitely testing my strength right now. It is something that I think about all the time. I realize that she may have just a small issue that can be fixed really quick or she may have to have surgery. Again we won't know until she is born. We saw a new doctor during our ultrasound. She was unreal. I will tell you through all this, I do know that there are still doctors out there that understand their patients. She answered every question. She told us to request doctors and see the doctors we want to see.
The echo went really well and our cardiologist is amazing. She definitely dumb's down everything for me and sometimes I still do not understand. She is not too concerned with Levins heart right now, which was a huge relief. We are going to go back for a follow up echo but she is glad we are delivering at CMC main. During our visit she went over the echo. Ill admit I zoned out a little bit. I did hear her talk about Levins and she said "She is a fighter." The context she was using was her moving all over the place while they were trying to work, but still I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that from someone other than our family and friends. It is a great thing that she is as active as she is.
In between visits we stopped at a food place in the hospital because the first visit went long, and we weren't going to have time to get lunch before the second visit. It took forever. There was a father and his daughter in front of me. They were ordering and joking around. I thought to myself if they only knew how hungry Cullie was they would move on. As I am standing in line I start to get frustrated because it was my idea to get Cullie a quick snack. I tried not to look toward her and get the "I'm so hungry I am going to pass out" look. I get that a lot trust me. I finally got up to the front and bought some popcorn and cookies. As I was walking out I said "Hey" to the Father and daughter. I looked down at her and smiled. She was around 8-10 years old. She was a beautiful little girl and she has DS.
There was a reason why I went in that line. It was God showing me the love between a Father and daughter. I had no idea she had DS. They were laughing and joking around just like I envision Rett and I at that age. It taught me that Levins and I will be the same way. I needed that moment. I needed to see that interaction.
Everyone is preparing for Levins. She is going to have a great team of doctors awaiting her arrival. She will get all the help she needs. She will also have a support system unlike any other. I pray everyday that God keeps showing me little things to encourage us.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Build A Bear
Rett, Cullie , and I were leaving Myrtle Beach and decided to stop at Build A Bear. I think this store is a great concept and try to steer Rett away every time we are near one. I am still in shock as to how we can go in to a place and spend $50.00 on a teddy bear. Rett did very well on our short trip so it was a "prize" for her being so good.
The store was packed. I decided to let them walk in while I walked around and checked out a few other stores. As I walk back in I see Rett has picked out her bear. Of course she picked out the Frozen themed bear "Ana". She was so excited and ready for the experience to start. As we are sitting in line I remember on Rett's due date we went to Build A Bear. Cullie and I picked out the bear and had it ready for Rett's arrival. I thought to myself Levins needs a bear too.
I looked down at Rett and asked if she wanted to pick Levins out a bear too. Her face lit up. She was so excited to make her a bear too. Of course she picked out the "Elsa" bear.
I hope reading this blog you will somehow see Rett and the tiny terror that she is, but also see how sweet she is. She amazes me on a daily basis. She is going to be a great sister. She will care for Levins and also stick up for her. She has big shoes to fill being the older sister and I know she will handle it fine. I find myself worried about what their relationship is going to be like. I worry if Levins is blessed with an extra chromosome, how will that effect their relationship. I think my worries were answered in a line at Build A Bear. Rett and Levins will have a relationship that most will envy. They will be best friends for life. I feel bad I ever doubted how their relationship was going to be. Levins is Rett's baby sister. She will love her unconditionally. She will teach her to walk, jump on her trampoline, put on make up (this kills me), paint her toes, play sports, work her ipad, and play dress up. The innocence and love of a child has taught me so much.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
The Reason
Now I can finally get to the reason I am attempting to write this Blog. As you know I research anything I do not know the answer to. I started researching blogs or other avenues for families with children who have DS. I have not found one yet (does not mean there isn't one) of a Father's perspective on life.
The more I read about the more peace I have about the whole situation. Levins is loved. We are preparing as a family for Levins to be blessed with an extra chromosome. We could spend the next 3+ months saying it is only 93% chance. I played a little baseball in my life and know what a .930 batting average looks like. Finding out the news has been a grieving process. We have good hours, good days and bad days. That is 100 percent normal.
It has also been kind of a relief. Finding the reason why her stomach is harder to see and why she may have heart issues. It is also nice being able to prepare for her. The more I read the more I realize she is a child. She sleeps, eats, and needs her diaper changed. Yes some things will take more time. Milestones will be that much sweeter.
Cullie, Rett, and Levins are my life. Those 3 girls will have whatever they need. We are going to make sure Levins lives a normal life. She and Rett will go to school. Levins will wear the same leggings and t shirts Rett does. They are our children and we will love them forever.
I have read some horrible statistics. 9 out of 10 children that are diagnosed with DS before they are born are aborted. I get choked up thinking about that fact. That was never even a consideration in our mind. If this blog saves one child who is diagnosed with DS and is given the opportunity to live it has been worth every hour spent on here. God has a purpose for everyone's life. Rett has taught me how to love in a totally different way. Levins has taught me so much and I have not had the opportunity to meet her yet. The only way I know she is there is to feel her kick my hand.
First and foremost she is God's child. He places children in each one of our lives to protect. Trust me I am scared to death of this fact. He has chosen her to come into our lives to teach us the meaning of life. I have a whole new outlook on life since Levins has been in our life. She has already taught me so much. She is a fighter.
Our family has a lot of laughter. We live life to the fullest I think. Here is a small prayer that Mimi sent me. I am not sure exactly who authored this prayer. If they only knew the inner peace it gave Cullie and I they would be suprised.
Most people become parents by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 couples will become parents of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how parents of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Michael,
daughter, patron saint, Cecilia. "Rudledge, Carrie and Adam, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes two names to an angel and smiles, "Give them a special needs child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? They're so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a special needs child to parents who do not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But have they patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want them to have too much patience or they will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, they'll handle it.
"I watched them today. They have that feeling of self and dependence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother and father. You see, the child I'm going to give them has his own world. They have to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think they even believe in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. These two are perfect. They have just enough selfishness. "
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If they can't separate themselves from the child occasionally, they'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman and a man whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. They doesn't realize it yet, but they are going to be envied. They will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' They will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When their child says 'Momma' for the first
time, they will be present at a miracle and know it! When they describe tree or a sunset to their blind child, they will see it as few people ever see my creations.
"I will permit them to see clearly the things I see . . . ignorance,
cruelty, prejudice . . . and allow them to rise above them. They will
never be alone. I will be at their side every minute of every day of their life, because they are doing my work as surely as they are here by my side."
"And what about their patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
I am not really sure why God chose me to be the lucky one to help lead and Father Levins. I do know that she will be loved. At the end of the day that is what our marriage has been based on since day one. Why would we ever change anything now.
The more I read about the more peace I have about the whole situation. Levins is loved. We are preparing as a family for Levins to be blessed with an extra chromosome. We could spend the next 3+ months saying it is only 93% chance. I played a little baseball in my life and know what a .930 batting average looks like. Finding out the news has been a grieving process. We have good hours, good days and bad days. That is 100 percent normal.
It has also been kind of a relief. Finding the reason why her stomach is harder to see and why she may have heart issues. It is also nice being able to prepare for her. The more I read the more I realize she is a child. She sleeps, eats, and needs her diaper changed. Yes some things will take more time. Milestones will be that much sweeter.
Cullie, Rett, and Levins are my life. Those 3 girls will have whatever they need. We are going to make sure Levins lives a normal life. She and Rett will go to school. Levins will wear the same leggings and t shirts Rett does. They are our children and we will love them forever.
I have read some horrible statistics. 9 out of 10 children that are diagnosed with DS before they are born are aborted. I get choked up thinking about that fact. That was never even a consideration in our mind. If this blog saves one child who is diagnosed with DS and is given the opportunity to live it has been worth every hour spent on here. God has a purpose for everyone's life. Rett has taught me how to love in a totally different way. Levins has taught me so much and I have not had the opportunity to meet her yet. The only way I know she is there is to feel her kick my hand.
First and foremost she is God's child. He places children in each one of our lives to protect. Trust me I am scared to death of this fact. He has chosen her to come into our lives to teach us the meaning of life. I have a whole new outlook on life since Levins has been in our life. She has already taught me so much. She is a fighter.
Our family has a lot of laughter. We live life to the fullest I think. Here is a small prayer that Mimi sent me. I am not sure exactly who authored this prayer. If they only knew the inner peace it gave Cullie and I they would be suprised.
Most people become parents by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 couples will become parents of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how parents of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Michael,
daughter, patron saint, Cecilia. "Rudledge, Carrie and Adam, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes two names to an angel and smiles, "Give them a special needs child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? They're so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a special needs child to parents who do not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But have they patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want them to have too much patience or they will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, they'll handle it.
"I watched them today. They have that feeling of self and dependence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother and father. You see, the child I'm going to give them has his own world. They have to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think they even believe in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. These two are perfect. They have just enough selfishness. "
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If they can't separate themselves from the child occasionally, they'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman and a man whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. They doesn't realize it yet, but they are going to be envied. They will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' They will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When their child says 'Momma' for the first
time, they will be present at a miracle and know it! When they describe tree or a sunset to their blind child, they will see it as few people ever see my creations.
"I will permit them to see clearly the things I see . . . ignorance,
cruelty, prejudice . . . and allow them to rise above them. They will
never be alone. I will be at their side every minute of every day of their life, because they are doing my work as surely as they are here by my side."
"And what about their patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
I am not really sure why God chose me to be the lucky one to help lead and Father Levins. I do know that she will be loved. At the end of the day that is what our marriage has been based on since day one. Why would we ever change anything now.
The Call
6-4-15
It was a Thursday and I was at work. I had a weird feeling in my stomach. Knowing me I thought I probably ate something weird. I ended up leaving work around 4:30 that day.
I got home and immediately went outside to play with Rett on the trampoline. We were jumping and she was flying all over the place and laughing. I looked inside and saw Cullie on the phone. I immediately knew it was the Geneticists on the phone. I could tell by the look.
First of all I do not truly understand this statistics test. It basically put you in a category then gives you a percentage of risk for having one of the Trisomy abnormalities, given your category. I got a text from Cullie soon after she hung up the phone.
"Test is positive, I'm coming out but I can not talk about it right now."
Again I went straight into denial. There is no way.
Cullie and I later talked it out. We were told that we got put in the 99 percentile to have DS. Which means there is a 93% chance of Levins having DS.
Cullie and Rett went inside after supper to take a bath. I sat on the back porch with a beer and tried to grasp everything.
I eventually text my parents then called them after. It was an emotional call. It is not something that we are scared of, it is just the news you do not want to hear. Part of me was selfish and the other part was scared. Scared that I would not be the Father she needs. I asked Why? I asked God why was he constantly testing us. I admit that was wrong. I had accepted it before but hadn't I guess. I felt bad for Levins.
I prayed to God all night. I probably slept 2 hours the entire night. I prayed that God would give me the strength I needed to get through this. I needed to be the rock. I was more like the marsh-mallow inside but Cullie needed a rock.
Our family got the results that night as well. Through text or phone call. The overwhelming support was unreal. I knew Levins would be loved no matter what, but it just showed me how much she would.
It was a Thursday and I was at work. I had a weird feeling in my stomach. Knowing me I thought I probably ate something weird. I ended up leaving work around 4:30 that day.
I got home and immediately went outside to play with Rett on the trampoline. We were jumping and she was flying all over the place and laughing. I looked inside and saw Cullie on the phone. I immediately knew it was the Geneticists on the phone. I could tell by the look.
First of all I do not truly understand this statistics test. It basically put you in a category then gives you a percentage of risk for having one of the Trisomy abnormalities, given your category. I got a text from Cullie soon after she hung up the phone.
"Test is positive, I'm coming out but I can not talk about it right now."
Again I went straight into denial. There is no way.
Cullie and I later talked it out. We were told that we got put in the 99 percentile to have DS. Which means there is a 93% chance of Levins having DS.
Cullie and Rett went inside after supper to take a bath. I sat on the back porch with a beer and tried to grasp everything.
I eventually text my parents then called them after. It was an emotional call. It is not something that we are scared of, it is just the news you do not want to hear. Part of me was selfish and the other part was scared. Scared that I would not be the Father she needs. I asked Why? I asked God why was he constantly testing us. I admit that was wrong. I had accepted it before but hadn't I guess. I felt bad for Levins.
I prayed to God all night. I probably slept 2 hours the entire night. I prayed that God would give me the strength I needed to get through this. I needed to be the rock. I was more like the marsh-mallow inside but Cullie needed a rock.
Our family got the results that night as well. Through text or phone call. The overwhelming support was unreal. I knew Levins would be loved no matter what, but it just showed me how much she would.
Echocardiogram
I personally have never been to a Children's hospital or do not remember it if I was younger. I can tell you it was amazing. Walking in this place just showed how much the people around there cared. They spent a lot of time and money to make it feel neat. We go to check in and they scan my drivers license and tell me to put the sticker on my shirt. I read it and it says my name and what floor I am supposed to be on. Brilliant I think.
We get to the place we are supposed to be and wait. We get called back right away and sit in another dark whisper room. Ultrasound tech is a guy this time with a Boston Red Sox lanyard around his neck. I am a die hard Yankees fan and decide to wait to give him a hard time until after the Echocardiogram.
He gets us started and somehow immediately finds the heart. He has Cullie flip to one side then back to the other to see everything he needs to see. Levins of course is not cooperating but he eventually gets all the pictures. He talks with us while he is going through everything and says nothing seems to alarming to him.
The Cardiologist comes in and starts to look at everything. She then gets the ultrasound wand and starts to look at Levins heart. They start talking really fast and I only pick up a few words. She then tells us she will explain everything after they have gone through the entire heart. Keep in mind Levins heart is now the size of a quarter. It is crazy to me that they can look at everything. They finish then she gets ready to talk with us.
She says Levins has a valve that is back flowing just a little bit. She says there could be 3 small issues on the heart. She tells us if there was just one of those issues it would not be any real concern. She says since there is 3 small issues she wants to monitor her throughout the entire pregnancy. She told us the reason we have all these tests it to prepare for delivery. She says that all of these are soft indicators for DS but nothing is a firm indicator until the baby is born and they can test. She then says that we will have another Echocardiogram to monitor the heart.
Science and the medial field is crazy. It was the best visit we had because we felt like all of our questions were answered. We still do not know if Levins heart has anything really wrong but it was good to hear her say nothing at this time was life threatening.
I learned a lot that day. I learned again that life is all about preparation. All the doctors are trying to do is to prepare for Levins when she arrives in September. We still have a feeling of peace about the situation.
We get to the place we are supposed to be and wait. We get called back right away and sit in another dark whisper room. Ultrasound tech is a guy this time with a Boston Red Sox lanyard around his neck. I am a die hard Yankees fan and decide to wait to give him a hard time until after the Echocardiogram.
He gets us started and somehow immediately finds the heart. He has Cullie flip to one side then back to the other to see everything he needs to see. Levins of course is not cooperating but he eventually gets all the pictures. He talks with us while he is going through everything and says nothing seems to alarming to him.
The Cardiologist comes in and starts to look at everything. She then gets the ultrasound wand and starts to look at Levins heart. They start talking really fast and I only pick up a few words. She then tells us she will explain everything after they have gone through the entire heart. Keep in mind Levins heart is now the size of a quarter. It is crazy to me that they can look at everything. They finish then she gets ready to talk with us.
She says Levins has a valve that is back flowing just a little bit. She says there could be 3 small issues on the heart. She tells us if there was just one of those issues it would not be any real concern. She says since there is 3 small issues she wants to monitor her throughout the entire pregnancy. She told us the reason we have all these tests it to prepare for delivery. She says that all of these are soft indicators for DS but nothing is a firm indicator until the baby is born and they can test. She then says that we will have another Echocardiogram to monitor the heart.
Science and the medial field is crazy. It was the best visit we had because we felt like all of our questions were answered. We still do not know if Levins heart has anything really wrong but it was good to hear her say nothing at this time was life threatening.
I learned a lot that day. I learned again that life is all about preparation. All the doctors are trying to do is to prepare for Levins when she arrives in September. We still have a feeling of peace about the situation.
Super Ultrasound
We made it to the day with the ultrasound appointment. I prayed all the time. I prayed for Levins and Cullie. I prayed that everything would be ok. I also prayed for peace. I prayed that God would give me the strength no matter the outcome to be the Husband and Father I needed to be.
We finally get called back to another one of the dark whisper rooms. The ultrasound tech we have is awesome. She is flying through it. She is measuring everything. She measures Levins' bones. Femur and humerous are all measuring a couple days ahead of schedule. I light up. That is another indicator of Down Syndrome if the bone structure is shorter than normal. She gets to the stomach and says she agrees with the other specialist and she can not definitely see the stomach. But she says the fluid levels are not high which is a good sign. She then can not find the nasal bone. She then says she sees the small heart issue. So basically the girl I thought did not know anything, was actually doing a great job.
The specialist then comes in the room. She sits down with us and explains that these are all indicators of DS. My heart drops. She said that they are not 100 percent indicators, but they are soft indicators. As a Man you want 100 percent. We know black and white. What is grey area?
Then another person walks into the room. She is called a Geneticist. She then goes over our options. There are a few tests we can try to see if they can give us black and white. One was a amniocentesis. We said before we went that this was something we were not interested in. Reason we were not is the risk of losing Levins. We did not feel it necessary to have that test.
She then recommended the Harmony Test. I personally had never heard of it.
http://www.ariosadx.com/
Above is their site. Look over it and see the numbers.
The general gist I got was they take blood from Cullie and test it for increased levels of any of the Trisomy possibilities. We opted for the test. It takes a little over a week for the results.
The Doctor then says we are going to have to go see another specialist at the Children's Hospital. WHAT?!?! She said there is a few small things on the heart that they want a Pediatric Cardiologist to look into.
We wait again to go to the next dark whisper place.
We finally get called back to another one of the dark whisper rooms. The ultrasound tech we have is awesome. She is flying through it. She is measuring everything. She measures Levins' bones. Femur and humerous are all measuring a couple days ahead of schedule. I light up. That is another indicator of Down Syndrome if the bone structure is shorter than normal. She gets to the stomach and says she agrees with the other specialist and she can not definitely see the stomach. But she says the fluid levels are not high which is a good sign. She then can not find the nasal bone. She then says she sees the small heart issue. So basically the girl I thought did not know anything, was actually doing a great job.
The specialist then comes in the room. She sits down with us and explains that these are all indicators of DS. My heart drops. She said that they are not 100 percent indicators, but they are soft indicators. As a Man you want 100 percent. We know black and white. What is grey area?
Then another person walks into the room. She is called a Geneticist. She then goes over our options. There are a few tests we can try to see if they can give us black and white. One was a amniocentesis. We said before we went that this was something we were not interested in. Reason we were not is the risk of losing Levins. We did not feel it necessary to have that test.
She then recommended the Harmony Test. I personally had never heard of it.
http://www.ariosadx.com/
Above is their site. Look over it and see the numbers.
The general gist I got was they take blood from Cullie and test it for increased levels of any of the Trisomy possibilities. We opted for the test. It takes a little over a week for the results.
The Doctor then says we are going to have to go see another specialist at the Children's Hospital. WHAT?!?! She said there is a few small things on the heart that they want a Pediatric Cardiologist to look into.
We wait again to go to the next dark whisper place.
Soft Indicators
I fly to work. All I can think is I am going to go online and look this up and prove them wrong. What in the world is a soft indicator. Who comes up with these things. They are talking about my child. She is going to be perfect.
I do not claim to be a know it all, but I do like to research stuff I do not know. Here is a link to soft indicators for Down Syndrome
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/255714.php
I look for a little while at work and then a lot more when I get home. I keep telling Cullie we are fine and not to worry. We sit around in agony waiting for them to call to schedule our Level II ultrasound. I finally call and get the number to try and speed up the process. Keep in mind no one ever works fast enough when you have something on your mind. I had to keep telling myself to let them do their job. Finally a couple days later we get the call. We have an appointment to get all the indicators thrown to the side.
This is when as a Man you are in complete panic. Not panic because your mad just panic because you can not fix the problem if there is one.
I do not claim to be a know it all, but I do like to research stuff I do not know. Here is a link to soft indicators for Down Syndrome
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/255714.php
I look for a little while at work and then a lot more when I get home. I keep telling Cullie we are fine and not to worry. We sit around in agony waiting for them to call to schedule our Level II ultrasound. I finally call and get the number to try and speed up the process. Keep in mind no one ever works fast enough when you have something on your mind. I had to keep telling myself to let them do their job. Finally a couple days later we get the call. We have an appointment to get all the indicators thrown to the side.
This is when as a Man you are in complete panic. Not panic because your mad just panic because you can not fix the problem if there is one.
Ultrasound 2 Baby Levins
Finally the day has come for us to get our next ultrasound. Still have in my head I am just paying because the tech can not really do her job. I know, I am that guy.
We show up and have the Gestational Diabetes test, which looks like Kool Aid with a ton of sugar. Cullie downed it faster than I thought possible. Kind of reminded me of the college days and gross shots. She did the blood work and then up stairs to the ultrasound.
We got in the dark, whisper only room and she started the ultrasound. Her face showed up and all I could think was how gorgeous she was. She went through the whole body again.
No nasal bone. I didn't understand. I was thinking what is she talking about, she clearly has a nose. We moved on to something else and I did not think about it much more. The tech was almost finished and Cullie asked what about the stomach.
We then looked for the stomach. Still no signs of a stomach. I was very distraught. I asked her what that means. She said she did not know. She has never had a problem finding the stomach. We leave the dark whisper room and move to a normal room.
The midwife comes in that we are seeing that day. She comes in and says we are going to be referred to a more advanced ultrasound office to look into our issues more. Issues what issues? She is there and I just saw her. The midwife then describes that no nasal bone, stomach not being able to be seen and heart issue (first time we heard about this) are soft indicators for down syndrome.
Wait, what? Down Syndrome. What in the world is a soft indicator. I keep thinking their is no way this is the case. We are both younger than 30. This only happens when people are old and try to have children. Why would they tell us this.
We leave the doctors office. I could tell Cullie was upset. She is a person that holds most things in. I am not, but I held it together while we were together. I did not want her to see me panic. I knew Levins was fine.
We show up and have the Gestational Diabetes test, which looks like Kool Aid with a ton of sugar. Cullie downed it faster than I thought possible. Kind of reminded me of the college days and gross shots. She did the blood work and then up stairs to the ultrasound.
We got in the dark, whisper only room and she started the ultrasound. Her face showed up and all I could think was how gorgeous she was. She went through the whole body again.
No nasal bone. I didn't understand. I was thinking what is she talking about, she clearly has a nose. We moved on to something else and I did not think about it much more. The tech was almost finished and Cullie asked what about the stomach.
We then looked for the stomach. Still no signs of a stomach. I was very distraught. I asked her what that means. She said she did not know. She has never had a problem finding the stomach. We leave the dark whisper room and move to a normal room.
The midwife comes in that we are seeing that day. She comes in and says we are going to be referred to a more advanced ultrasound office to look into our issues more. Issues what issues? She is there and I just saw her. The midwife then describes that no nasal bone, stomach not being able to be seen and heart issue (first time we heard about this) are soft indicators for down syndrome.
Wait, what? Down Syndrome. What in the world is a soft indicator. I keep thinking their is no way this is the case. We are both younger than 30. This only happens when people are old and try to have children. Why would they tell us this.
We leave the doctors office. I could tell Cullie was upset. She is a person that holds most things in. I am not, but I held it together while we were together. I did not want her to see me panic. I knew Levins was fine.
May
May 2015
May in general is a very busy month. It was definitely poor planning on my part. We got married on May 22, Cullie's birthday is May 9th and Mothers Day always falls in May. So guys, I never want to hear anyone complain about finding a present once in a while. I have to come up with 3 different ideas! Stress is extreme.
It is a lot of fun watching the excitement on Rett's face when someone gets a present. She always is one to help and it does not matter what it is, she is excited.
Mimi and Granddaddy (My Dad) try to visit Rett at least once a month. This month Rett was going to go to their farm over our Anniversary week. She gets really excited to go there. They have goats, dogs, cats, chickens and a pool. It is kind of Rett's only little world. She will pick the baby goats up and walk right in the middle of all the big goats. She is really something. She is very caring with the animals. She gets stressed out when Granddaddy has to separate the goats. She comes home and explains it all to me.
"Daddy, Granddaddy had to move the goats. The crazy boys were jumping on the girls! He did not want to hurt the goats!"
The innocence of a child is unreal. Cullie and I ended up going to Columbia for a night to watch our niece play softball. By the way they won the State Championship and she is Rett's hero. It was good to get away for a night. It is important to maintain our relationship. I highly recommend getting away for a night or two every couple months.
May in general is a very busy month. It was definitely poor planning on my part. We got married on May 22, Cullie's birthday is May 9th and Mothers Day always falls in May. So guys, I never want to hear anyone complain about finding a present once in a while. I have to come up with 3 different ideas! Stress is extreme.
It is a lot of fun watching the excitement on Rett's face when someone gets a present. She always is one to help and it does not matter what it is, she is excited.
Mimi and Granddaddy (My Dad) try to visit Rett at least once a month. This month Rett was going to go to their farm over our Anniversary week. She gets really excited to go there. They have goats, dogs, cats, chickens and a pool. It is kind of Rett's only little world. She will pick the baby goats up and walk right in the middle of all the big goats. She is really something. She is very caring with the animals. She gets stressed out when Granddaddy has to separate the goats. She comes home and explains it all to me.
"Daddy, Granddaddy had to move the goats. The crazy boys were jumping on the girls! He did not want to hurt the goats!"
The innocence of a child is unreal. Cullie and I ended up going to Columbia for a night to watch our niece play softball. By the way they won the State Championship and she is Rett's hero. It was good to get away for a night. It is important to maintain our relationship. I highly recommend getting away for a night or two every couple months.
Gender Party
5-2-15
The day finally came. Cake was on the table, food was ordered, family and friends were in town. Next logical thing to do is get the party started. May 2nd is a special day in our family. It's Mimi's (My Mom) birthday. It is going to take me a while to get through everyone in our family but we will. Mimi and Annie (Cullie's Mom) are so amazing. They help us on a daily basis. Whether it is watching Rett while Cullie works or advice over the phone they are always around. So with that being said it was a special day for us.
I think every Man wants a son. I would not change Rett for the world. I just think that is something in a man's DNA that we want a son to carry on the family name and someone to do manly things with later in life. With that being said I always thought our new baby was a Girl. I just had a feeling. Maybe it was me preparing for when she is 16 already in my head (takes a lot of preparation).
Gender parties and babys' birthdays are not for the child I have decided. It's a way for the parents to have a good time. I mean we had beer and bourbon. I was in my element. Rett, her cousins and friends were everywhere. They were jumping on our small trampoline and running everywhere. We all finally ate around 6.
Once everyone ate it was game time. Everyone gathered around us with camera's as we cut into the cake. We pulled out a slice of cake and it was PINK. I was excited and horrified at the same time. I was out numbered 4 (Cullie, Rett, baby, Delia yes Delia the dog) to 1. How in the world was I going to watch over two girls when they are older. We do not mention the D word, It starts with a D and ends with a E. It is a four letter word in our house.
I was excited because we have 5 girls on Cullie's side of the family. So this made me feel good that our new baby would have someone to play with all the time. I do know that if we ever decide to have another one it will most likely be a girl. I am ok with it.
We talked the next couple weeks and decided on a name. Lets preface the name decision making process. We live in the South. We are only allotted family names. I know its crazy, but it is kind of neat at the same time. Her name will be Ann Levins. Ann is Cullie's Mom's first name and Levins is my Mom's Maiden name. I know it seems crazy but we love it. She will be called Levins.
The day finally came. Cake was on the table, food was ordered, family and friends were in town. Next logical thing to do is get the party started. May 2nd is a special day in our family. It's Mimi's (My Mom) birthday. It is going to take me a while to get through everyone in our family but we will. Mimi and Annie (Cullie's Mom) are so amazing. They help us on a daily basis. Whether it is watching Rett while Cullie works or advice over the phone they are always around. So with that being said it was a special day for us.
I think every Man wants a son. I would not change Rett for the world. I just think that is something in a man's DNA that we want a son to carry on the family name and someone to do manly things with later in life. With that being said I always thought our new baby was a Girl. I just had a feeling. Maybe it was me preparing for when she is 16 already in my head (takes a lot of preparation).
Gender parties and babys' birthdays are not for the child I have decided. It's a way for the parents to have a good time. I mean we had beer and bourbon. I was in my element. Rett, her cousins and friends were everywhere. They were jumping on our small trampoline and running everywhere. We all finally ate around 6.
Once everyone ate it was game time. Everyone gathered around us with camera's as we cut into the cake. We pulled out a slice of cake and it was PINK. I was excited and horrified at the same time. I was out numbered 4 (Cullie, Rett, baby, Delia yes Delia the dog) to 1. How in the world was I going to watch over two girls when they are older. We do not mention the D word, It starts with a D and ends with a E. It is a four letter word in our house.
I was excited because we have 5 girls on Cullie's side of the family. So this made me feel good that our new baby would have someone to play with all the time. I do know that if we ever decide to have another one it will most likely be a girl. I am ok with it.
We talked the next couple weeks and decided on a name. Lets preface the name decision making process. We live in the South. We are only allotted family names. I know its crazy, but it is kind of neat at the same time. Her name will be Ann Levins. Ann is Cullie's Mom's first name and Levins is my Mom's Maiden name. I know it seems crazy but we love it. She will be called Levins.
Ultrasound Baby 2
The day finally came. I think it was a Tuesday but do not hold me to that because I rarely know what day of the week it is. It was a big day for us. We go meet with the financial person, ultrasound, and doctors appointment. Let's get to the ultrasound, I do not want to bore anyone with my rants about how insane medical billing is these days.
We get ready in the ultrasound room. Those rooms are always dark and everyone whispers. Not really sure why we whisper because its just Cullie, ultrasound specialist and me. She puts the jelly on Cullie's stomach and we get this party started.
We immediately see the baby. It is a great feeling being able to see its face, arms and all the other good stuff in between. Cullie is in her element. She is staring at the flat screen. This baby is moving all over the place. I think to myself it is definitely another Rett. Rett can't sit still.
We get to the gender part. The tech tells us to close our eyes and look the other way. I look at Cullie and close my eyes. I mean I tried to look through my fingers to read the small type on the screen. I promise I was unsuccessful. She then tells us to look again and we get back into the ultrasound.
She then starts going through the anatomy. We look at everything. Every single bone in the body I feel like. We see the heart beating and several other parts. The baby then rolls all over the place. The tech then says we get another ultrasound because she could not see the baby's stomach. She assures us she did not see anything wrong but she could just not locate it based on the position. I think in my head that it is weird but we see a baby so we are good.
We meet with the doctor and she says everything looks good and they will see us in 4 weeks for another ultrasound and doctors appointment. I think in my head, like a stubborn Daddy, I am going to pay for another ultrasound because she couldn't find it. I admit it that went through my head. We left there feeling great. We had pictures of our baby and Cullie was going to take the gender picture to the baker. Life is good!
We get ready in the ultrasound room. Those rooms are always dark and everyone whispers. Not really sure why we whisper because its just Cullie, ultrasound specialist and me. She puts the jelly on Cullie's stomach and we get this party started.
We immediately see the baby. It is a great feeling being able to see its face, arms and all the other good stuff in between. Cullie is in her element. She is staring at the flat screen. This baby is moving all over the place. I think to myself it is definitely another Rett. Rett can't sit still.
We get to the gender part. The tech tells us to close our eyes and look the other way. I look at Cullie and close my eyes. I mean I tried to look through my fingers to read the small type on the screen. I promise I was unsuccessful. She then tells us to look again and we get back into the ultrasound.
She then starts going through the anatomy. We look at everything. Every single bone in the body I feel like. We see the heart beating and several other parts. The baby then rolls all over the place. The tech then says we get another ultrasound because she could not see the baby's stomach. She assures us she did not see anything wrong but she could just not locate it based on the position. I think in my head that it is weird but we see a baby so we are good.
We meet with the doctor and she says everything looks good and they will see us in 4 weeks for another ultrasound and doctors appointment. I think in my head, like a stubborn Daddy, I am going to pay for another ultrasound because she couldn't find it. I admit it that went through my head. We left there feeling great. We had pictures of our baby and Cullie was going to take the gender picture to the baker. Life is good!
Baby Fever
Once a woman gets to "Baby Fever" stage watch out. We were not going to give up. We ended up getting pregnant again very soon after. We had the initial doctors appointments and everything on our blood work looked great. Finally! Doctors says we are having a baby so it must be true.
We did not announce our pregnancy to the whole world until we were 12 weeks. Our family and close friends knew before. It was just easier for us in case something was to go wrong. The planning then started. We started thinking of names, asking who is he or she going to look like, and is it a boy or girl.
We ended up having another one of the trans vaginal (can't believe I used that word again) ultrasound. From what I remember everything was in the right place. So far we are good to go. We set up our 18 to 20 week ultrasound for the anatomy of the baby and the sex of the child.
Family is very important to us and we wanted them to involved in the process as much as possible. We decided to have another gender reveal party the weekend after the ultrasound. The excitement of what we were having was building.
We did not announce our pregnancy to the whole world until we were 12 weeks. Our family and close friends knew before. It was just easier for us in case something was to go wrong. The planning then started. We started thinking of names, asking who is he or she going to look like, and is it a boy or girl.
We ended up having another one of the trans vaginal (can't believe I used that word again) ultrasound. From what I remember everything was in the right place. So far we are good to go. We set up our 18 to 20 week ultrasound for the anatomy of the baby and the sex of the child.
Family is very important to us and we wanted them to involved in the process as much as possible. We decided to have another gender reveal party the weekend after the ultrasound. The excitement of what we were having was building.
Round 2
Cullie is one of 4 children in her family. I am one of 2. Since we have been dating we always talked about having 3 or 4 children (I know we are crazy). After Rett was a little over 1 we decided it was time to start "trying" for another child.
So here we go again. The constant thoughts in the back of our head of what happened before Rett are always there. We have several months of let down and 500 pregnancy tests that show up negative. We get a little discouraged but we know we can get pregnant because we have Rett.
One day I am at work and I get a text message from Cullie. This is normal to get text from her through out the day. We talk all the time. She says, "I took a test." Let me say women and men are complete opposite. It takes 20 minutes to have one text conversation that could have taken 30 seconds with a text saying its "POSITIVE." But we eventually got to that text.
We are both beyond excited. Since the past history we have we call the Doctors office immediately. It is always good to make sure the baby is in the right spot since we only have 1 tube. We set up a doctors appointment. We have the night to be super excited but also nervous. You never know what tomorrow brings.
I am not going to get into too much detail but we ended up losing the pregnancy the next day. This happened the next month as well. It is really hard being the husband in this situation. We are always searching for why did this happen and how can we fix it. We ended up getting tests done to give us the peace of mind that nothing was wrong. I strongly recommend talking to your doctor about the test to make sure everything is ok. Life is too short to be stressed all the time. The test came back good, so we were all set to keep trying.
So here we go again. The constant thoughts in the back of our head of what happened before Rett are always there. We have several months of let down and 500 pregnancy tests that show up negative. We get a little discouraged but we know we can get pregnant because we have Rett.
One day I am at work and I get a text message from Cullie. This is normal to get text from her through out the day. We talk all the time. She says, "I took a test." Let me say women and men are complete opposite. It takes 20 minutes to have one text conversation that could have taken 30 seconds with a text saying its "POSITIVE." But we eventually got to that text.
We are both beyond excited. Since the past history we have we call the Doctors office immediately. It is always good to make sure the baby is in the right spot since we only have 1 tube. We set up a doctors appointment. We have the night to be super excited but also nervous. You never know what tomorrow brings.
I am not going to get into too much detail but we ended up losing the pregnancy the next day. This happened the next month as well. It is really hard being the husband in this situation. We are always searching for why did this happen and how can we fix it. We ended up getting tests done to give us the peace of mind that nothing was wrong. I strongly recommend talking to your doctor about the test to make sure everything is ok. Life is too short to be stressed all the time. The test came back good, so we were all set to keep trying.
Speed UP
I promise very soon you will find out the reason I am writing this blog. I just feel that we needed a little back story on how we arrived to where we are in life now. Once we get caught up I will attempt to involve everyone in our daily life. I really want everyone to get to know Cullie, Rett, Levins and Delia like I do. I want everyone to see our life through "Daddy's" eyes. I also do not want anyone to read this and think that we are not thankful for everything we have. I personally would not change anything that has happened to us in forming our family. I really believe that it has made our marriage stronger. We prayed and prayed for Rett. God answered our prayers and blessed us with our little girl.
Let's spend a little time getting to know our wild 2 year old. Rett has always been a very determined child. She flipped her bouncy seat at around 4 moths old, trying to sit up. There has never really been anything that she has not been able to do. She started walking around 10 months. The funny thing is as soon as she figured out how to walk she started to run. She has always been very coordinated. She now climbs up everything and runs all day long. Personality wise, she is just like Cullie. I tease them all the time because they have arguments. I am really not kidding. They had their first argument when Rett could barely talk. I was kind of in shock. It made me laugh because I always knew they were both very hard headed. Rett adores Cullie. It is so much fun watching them interact with one another. They truly are best friends. I know you think that is weird to say that someone has a 2 year old best friend. If you really think about it they spend the majority of the day together. They love to shop together. Rett loves going to the "Red One" (Target) and "Mal-Mart's" or "Blue One" (Walmart). They both can sit and watch a Disney princess movie on repeat for HOURS! The relationship between a mama and daughter is an amazing thing.
As a Daddy I feel our roles are kind of like the point guard in a basketball team. Some may consider our lives more like the coach. I disagree a little because I want to be in the game. I am not someone who likes to sit on the sideline and watch the game of life unfold. My role is to try my best to make sure my girls have what they need. Which means a lot of different things. Providing for us and also being a calming stable force when the "arguments" are going on. I also think sometimes as a Daddy we miss out on the joys of our family trying to make sure everything is perfect. What I mean by that is I think we get very focused on the things that are going on outside of our home. I am a person who is very career driven and career focused. I am a person that will work every day just to make sure everything at work is going smoothly. I also woke up in the middle of the night a couple of months ago and asked myself if I was doing the same at home. We need to make sure we make the time to spend with our Family. Spending time can mean a lot of different things. Be available. Rett hates "tickle monsters" but she secretly loves them. She lights up when I walk in the room after coming home from work. I admit Cullie does 95 percent of the daily diaper, bathing, and feeding with Rett. At first I was upset because I wanted to change diapers and put her to bed. I look at it now and realize that Cullie wants to do that. She wants to be involved in everything. If I get the opportunity to give Rett a bath or change her diaper (2 year diapers are a whole new level) I make the most of it. We laugh the whole time. Cullie is the MVP of the team. My job is to make sure she gets the ball.
Let's spend a little time getting to know our wild 2 year old. Rett has always been a very determined child. She flipped her bouncy seat at around 4 moths old, trying to sit up. There has never really been anything that she has not been able to do. She started walking around 10 months. The funny thing is as soon as she figured out how to walk she started to run. She has always been very coordinated. She now climbs up everything and runs all day long. Personality wise, she is just like Cullie. I tease them all the time because they have arguments. I am really not kidding. They had their first argument when Rett could barely talk. I was kind of in shock. It made me laugh because I always knew they were both very hard headed. Rett adores Cullie. It is so much fun watching them interact with one another. They truly are best friends. I know you think that is weird to say that someone has a 2 year old best friend. If you really think about it they spend the majority of the day together. They love to shop together. Rett loves going to the "Red One" (Target) and "Mal-Mart's" or "Blue One" (Walmart). They both can sit and watch a Disney princess movie on repeat for HOURS! The relationship between a mama and daughter is an amazing thing.
As a Daddy I feel our roles are kind of like the point guard in a basketball team. Some may consider our lives more like the coach. I disagree a little because I want to be in the game. I am not someone who likes to sit on the sideline and watch the game of life unfold. My role is to try my best to make sure my girls have what they need. Which means a lot of different things. Providing for us and also being a calming stable force when the "arguments" are going on. I also think sometimes as a Daddy we miss out on the joys of our family trying to make sure everything is perfect. What I mean by that is I think we get very focused on the things that are going on outside of our home. I am a person who is very career driven and career focused. I am a person that will work every day just to make sure everything at work is going smoothly. I also woke up in the middle of the night a couple of months ago and asked myself if I was doing the same at home. We need to make sure we make the time to spend with our Family. Spending time can mean a lot of different things. Be available. Rett hates "tickle monsters" but she secretly loves them. She lights up when I walk in the room after coming home from work. I admit Cullie does 95 percent of the daily diaper, bathing, and feeding with Rett. At first I was upset because I wanted to change diapers and put her to bed. I look at it now and realize that Cullie wants to do that. She wants to be involved in everything. If I get the opportunity to give Rett a bath or change her diaper (2 year diapers are a whole new level) I make the most of it. We laugh the whole time. Cullie is the MVP of the team. My job is to make sure she gets the ball.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
First couple Month's of Fatherhood
I am not going to sugar coat anything and tell you that the first couple months of a child's life are easy because, they really aren't. It is a constant feeding, diaper change, fuss, sleep, repeat. Everyone will give you advice on how to raise your child the first couple of months. I am one to always take advice from someone else. I would always listen, but I can tell you to do what works for your family.
Several people suggested a book called "Baby Wise". The only book I read a few pages out of before Rett was born had Caveman in the title. I had no idea what all I was getting into. "Baby Wise" is great. Cullie read the majority of the book, but did not study it like some soon to be Mamas. One of the things she learned from the book was to put the baby on a schedule. Now, I have created employee schedules for 30+ employees before, but was still baffled at the amount of planning that went into one day with a child.
As a Father, the first couple of months are great. It is tough in some ways if y'all decide to breast feed. First of all, we were not blessed with breasts that produce milk. I guess what I mean by that is there is not much we can do to help. I am sure the jury is still out on whether or not that is a good thing for some people. Another thing that will absolutely blow your mind is a breast pump. You will wake up one morning at 2 am and walk in the living room and see it. At first you will think your wife is being held hostage. You look and see your child feeding on one side and a large funnel on the other side. I can assure you that those puppies are not for your entertainment.
Daddy's most important job is just being there. Try to be involved. It will be an emotional time for Mamas and babies. Be there to go get take out food. It is almost like pregnancy all over again but with a screaming beautiful baby girl on her lap.
I will admit I have it really good. Cullie is amazing with Rett. She has the most patience with her. I remember waking up one night and hearing Rett crying. When I walked into the living room she was with Cullie trying to feed. This is a tough time because it is almost like they were trying to figure each other out. Rett would not latch (See I did pay attention in breast feeding 101 class) very well initially. The frustration the two had for each other was very apparent. I tried to help but there was not much I could do. I do remember seeing the relief in Cullie's eyes that I was around. Rett eventually figured it out and we started using breast milk from the pump to start feeding her with a bottle.
Funny story
Cullie is one of the funniest people I have ever met. She likes to tease me on a regular basis which most of the time she is really not meaning to. We were at her parents house before the baby was born. She was talking with everyone. I can tell when she is about to ask a stupid question. She gets this look of almost confusion. She pipes up and asks her brother a question….
"Grady did you try on Holly's breast pump??" Cullie
"HAHA! Of course not. Who would ever try one of those on?" Grady
"Oh sad! I feel like Kyle would try that on immediately!" Cullie
See I promise your pride will always be in jeopardy!
Several people suggested a book called "Baby Wise". The only book I read a few pages out of before Rett was born had Caveman in the title. I had no idea what all I was getting into. "Baby Wise" is great. Cullie read the majority of the book, but did not study it like some soon to be Mamas. One of the things she learned from the book was to put the baby on a schedule. Now, I have created employee schedules for 30+ employees before, but was still baffled at the amount of planning that went into one day with a child.
As a Father, the first couple of months are great. It is tough in some ways if y'all decide to breast feed. First of all, we were not blessed with breasts that produce milk. I guess what I mean by that is there is not much we can do to help. I am sure the jury is still out on whether or not that is a good thing for some people. Another thing that will absolutely blow your mind is a breast pump. You will wake up one morning at 2 am and walk in the living room and see it. At first you will think your wife is being held hostage. You look and see your child feeding on one side and a large funnel on the other side. I can assure you that those puppies are not for your entertainment.
Daddy's most important job is just being there. Try to be involved. It will be an emotional time for Mamas and babies. Be there to go get take out food. It is almost like pregnancy all over again but with a screaming beautiful baby girl on her lap.
I will admit I have it really good. Cullie is amazing with Rett. She has the most patience with her. I remember waking up one night and hearing Rett crying. When I walked into the living room she was with Cullie trying to feed. This is a tough time because it is almost like they were trying to figure each other out. Rett would not latch (See I did pay attention in breast feeding 101 class) very well initially. The frustration the two had for each other was very apparent. I tried to help but there was not much I could do. I do remember seeing the relief in Cullie's eyes that I was around. Rett eventually figured it out and we started using breast milk from the pump to start feeding her with a bottle.
Funny story
Cullie is one of the funniest people I have ever met. She likes to tease me on a regular basis which most of the time she is really not meaning to. We were at her parents house before the baby was born. She was talking with everyone. I can tell when she is about to ask a stupid question. She gets this look of almost confusion. She pipes up and asks her brother a question….
"Grady did you try on Holly's breast pump??" Cullie
"HAHA! Of course not. Who would ever try one of those on?" Grady
"Oh sad! I feel like Kyle would try that on immediately!" Cullie
See I promise your pride will always be in jeopardy!
Rett
Let's fast forward through this pregnancy. It was an exciting and stressful few months. Every little thing would scare us to death. I understand why because we had been through a rough time before. We went for a doctors appointment right near our due date on 12-27-12. We were so excited knowing she was close to joining us. Our doctor said that everything looked good and she wanted to induce soon on 12-31-12 to be exact. I was excited and a little bummed because I had rehearsed me speech of why we needed to induce before 2013. I was thinking tax return which would in return help pay the deductible. Yes I know that probably sounds awful, but I did not have to make my argument. We went home and enjoyed the last couple of days and tried to get some sleep.
We finally got the call around 6:30pm on 12-30-12 to come to the hospital. It was a nerve racking feeling walking in knowing that we were going to walk out +1. You have the entire pregnancy to somewhat plan in your head but it never really hits you until you make that trip. We ended up checking in and staying the night in preparation for delivery the next day.
I am going to tell you this, God knew what He was doing when He decided women would have the babies. That was an intense process. We ended up having a healthy baby girl at 2:19pm on 12-31-12.
All the prior heart ache we had seemed to disappear. Rett was here and she was all ours. I admit I gotta a little light headed when the nurse came in and said its time to push. I kept thinking of all the things I had to do. I thought about all the responsibility.
Everything changed when I held Rett. She looked into my eyes and it gave me a sense of calm. I knew that we were going to be just fine. But on a serious note, who knew something so small could have such gross diapers.
Enjoy this video!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTij4txO8Uk
We finally got the call around 6:30pm on 12-30-12 to come to the hospital. It was a nerve racking feeling walking in knowing that we were going to walk out +1. You have the entire pregnancy to somewhat plan in your head but it never really hits you until you make that trip. We ended up checking in and staying the night in preparation for delivery the next day.
I am going to tell you this, God knew what He was doing when He decided women would have the babies. That was an intense process. We ended up having a healthy baby girl at 2:19pm on 12-31-12.
All the prior heart ache we had seemed to disappear. Rett was here and she was all ours. I admit I gotta a little light headed when the nurse came in and said its time to push. I kept thinking of all the things I had to do. I thought about all the responsibility.
Everything changed when I held Rett. She looked into my eyes and it gave me a sense of calm. I knew that we were going to be just fine. But on a serious note, who knew something so small could have such gross diapers.
Enjoy this video!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTij4txO8Uk
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