The Call

6-4-15

It was a Thursday and I was at work. I had a weird feeling in my stomach. Knowing me I thought I probably ate something weird. I ended up leaving work around 4:30 that day.

I got home and immediately went outside to play with Rett on the trampoline. We were jumping and she was flying all over the place and laughing. I looked inside and saw Cullie on the phone. I immediately knew it was the Geneticists on the phone. I could tell by the look.

First of all  I do not truly understand this statistics test.  It basically put you in a category then gives you a percentage of risk for having one of the Trisomy abnormalities, given your category. I got a text from Cullie soon after she hung up the phone.

"Test is positive, I'm coming out but I can not talk about it right now."

Again I went straight into denial. There is no way.

Cullie and I later talked it out. We were told that we got put in the 99 percentile to have DS. Which means there is a 93% chance of Levins having DS.

Cullie and Rett went inside after supper to take a bath. I sat on the back porch with a beer and tried to grasp everything.

I eventually text my parents then called them after. It was an emotional call. It is not something that we are scared of, it is just the news you do not want to hear. Part of me was selfish and the other part was scared. Scared that I would not be the Father she needs. I asked Why? I asked God why was he constantly testing us. I admit that was wrong. I had accepted it before but hadn't I guess. I felt bad for Levins.

I prayed to God all night. I probably slept 2 hours the entire night. I prayed that God would give me the strength I needed to get through this. I needed to be the rock. I was more like the marsh-mallow inside but Cullie needed a rock.

Our family got the results that night as well. Through text or phone call. The overwhelming support was unreal. I knew Levins would be loved no matter what, but it just showed me how much she would.