10/29/19 was by far the worst day of my life. We lost a part of us. I know I have been gone a while on here but I do feel the need to tell the story of my best friend. I thank God every minute that he allowed me to be Levins's father here on Earth. God gave me strength to speak at her celebration of life. Below are my notes.
Dear Lord,
Please wrap your arms around this chubby fast talking Southern Daddy. I need you now more than ever.
Amen
I use a saying a lot in my life “They are stressing me out!”
As most of you know we sit in the front row of the church during service. Which 100% tears me out of my frame. I feel like the entire congregation is staring at my crazy family. We used to bring Levins in due to fear of her getting sick and we just wanted her with us. She go from Cullie’s lap to Annie’s lap and then back to Cullie’s lap. As soon as the piano started she would go crazy. Singing and shaking side to side. I was so stressed.
I would often walk into our house from work and see medical supplies everywhere. I wanted our house to be clean and picked up. I was stressed.
This last Saturday we went to Food Lion. Cullie and I decided we didn’t need the stroller and we would carry Levins and Lola Jean. That lasted about 2 minutes. They were off. I looked down the aisle and all 3 of my kids were running. I had a vision of aisles acting like dominos and creating a huge mess. We then made it to the next aisle. My beautiful wife decided Lola needed a cup of Oreos to walk around and shop. Lola spilled the cup of Oreos while shopping. I frantically ran over there to clean up the mess. Out of the corner of my eye I see Levins. She is doing her run to the one man in the beer section. I guess she felt comfortable shopping in that department. She runs her hand up his leg and stops right below his shorts. It scared him and when he looked down Levins was hugging his leg. I ran over and apologized and turned her towards Cullie. I thought she was making a bee line to her sister who was about to run over everyone down the aisle but I was wrong. Levins then runs face first into a woman’s leg and starts dying laughing. There is more to the story which I will tell outside of church. Again I was stressed.
Sunday night we are in Levine Children's Hospital and Levins is in a lot of pain. We think she is severely constipated. The only way she was comfortable was when Cullie or I were walking back and forth in the small room. I felt my watch vibrate at 2am then again at 3. I kept thinking to myself I really want to be in my bed asleep.
I believe your body has 100 points a day. I think as a parent, that’s true too. How many points did I waste being stressed? What I am trying to get at is those are moments we will not have again here. I wasted my points on the things that did not matter. Enjoy the chaos! I pray for chaos right now.
Levins was blessed with an extra chromosome. When she was born on 9-9-15 I thought that was the scariest day of my life. Little did I know. Levins taught me the meaning of life. She didn’t shake hands, she hugged. She cried when she was mad and yelled when she was hungry. She loved everyone. She did not see race, gender, wealth or hate. All she saw is love.
What is Love? Levins is Love. The naming process of a child can be quite a process especially when you marry a true southern woman. Names are limited to family names. Not going to lie there were a few suggestions that reminded me of the floral department at the pottery. I didn’t know this until after she was born that the name Levins means love. How powerful is that!
What is Grief? Daddy’s of the world--it is ok to cry. You are still strong. This shows us how much we loved her.
I have been receiving several scriptures via text and phone calls. Keep them coming. My sister showed me a letter from her friend whose child is now in Heaven. The gist of the letter was small children are angles sent to us. Levins had a purpose. God knew her purpose.
I try to surround myself with smart people. I know most of you know my brother in laws so I may have lied a little bit. During work I ride with people who believe many things. I think that’s important in my walk with Christ. It allows me to believe stronger in the things I believe. Jesus is all around us all the time. Levins was sick Tuesday morning. I am driving frantically across the 49 bridge. Talked to my mom and told her I was taking her to ER. I am in traffic and look at the car next to me. Pop was there. God is good. He was with me the entire time. God knew I needed someone to hug and cry. Levins went to heaven in my arms.
The reason for the hats in here today is because of Levins. She would not let Grandaddy or Pop not wear a hat. She would yell until they put on one.
I want to take a moment to thank a few people
Thank you
Cullie- MAMA!!
Rett
LJ
Mimi & Annie
Grandaddy & Pop
Aunts & Uncles
Cousins
Family
Best Friends
Church
Community
Dr. Cosper
Pediatric Surgical Associates
Levine Children's Hospital
CCE I’m in
Bus drivers
Therapists (Gabby)- Come by anytime
DS community- we will always be with you
I know I missed several and know that we love you.
In closing our home is always open. We will grieve the loss of our Angel forever. A part of us will always be gone. We know where Levins is. We know we will see her again. For that reason we will celebrate the life of Ann Levins Mounts.
Please continue to pray for my family. We need it more than ever now. We are going to pick up the pieces. Levins was a special little girl. I will forever be grateful for ever day we spend.
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