7th Inning Stretch

I'll admit it has been awhile since I sat down to update everyone. It is not because we do not have much going on but the fact that I really do not know how to put it all into words. Levins is coming and she is coming FAST. We had several doctors appointments in the past couple weeks. What we have really learned is she is going to come early. Early as in we will induce at 37 weeks. The amniotic fluid is still high, and we do not want Cullie to go into labor outside of the hospital. A lot of things can happen when the fluid level is high, and we are not going to take any chances.

Today was kind of a surreal day. I felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster all day. We started at the OB office and had a surprise ultrasound. It was just to make sure Levins was head down and ready to come down the pipeline. I'll admit I was excited to see her on the screen. I can see her hands and feet push Cullie's stomach around, but it is nice to see that face. For the first time I can honestly say I was ready to see her immediately. If the doctor said we are going to delivery, I was ready. The excitement I had was unreal. I left the appointment feeling great.

Next, we went to tour the NICU and meet the doctors from the unit. We ended up having our tour first which was good. It was not what I expected at all. They have 4 wings and several different screened areas for each baby. I'll admit my excitement went to shear panic. Panic because I know she will be there. I know she is in good hands but as a Daddy it is not something you want. We were walking through an area and I saw a Dad that was around my age. He was in full scrubs and I assume he was in them because they just had a c-section, but I am not sure. Every Man knows the head bob of acknowledgement. I made eye contact and we both made the head bob. It was a situation of both of us understanding what the other was getting into. I could see the panic and excitement in his eyes. I know he could see the same in mine. That moment was important for my day. It showed me that I could keep it together. I know he was hurting inside for his child, but he was strong.

I pray more than I ever have. Not because I didn't believe in God before but because I have a lot to talk about. I pray he will give me strength. I pray he will take care of Cullie. Child birth in general is crazy and painful. When you add in the unknown issues we have, it takes it to another stress level. I pray for Rett. I pray that she understands. I know she won't understand the situation but that she understands she is loved and will have a lot of responsibilities later in life with Levins. I pray for the fighter, Levins. I pray that she will show us the same strength she has this entire pregnancy. I pray for my family as a whole.

DS is something that is not going to make my daughter. She is going to make DS. I guess what I mean by that is she is going to have the help and ability to live a normal life. Some people I know think I am crazy by saying that, but she will. I am not saying that it will be easy by any means. We have never really done anything in life the easy way. All I want is the opportunity to be her Prince. Rett loves when we dance around in the kitchen. I keep telling myself Levins will be with us dancing soon. I say that because I know she will. I know she will running away from me when "tickle monsters" are coming.